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Enough Already!

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 17, 2009, 7:37 PM
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Reading: Shelters of Stone
  • Watching: Detective Conan
Photobucket

News

I'm sick of everything. I'm stressed and I'd like nothing better than to crawl into bed and not wake up again for quite a while.

I'm not sleeping well, and nothing I eat seems to be helping. I break down over the STUPIDEST things (Sorry , San) and the fact that people keep DYING around me isn't helping. I'm sick of feeling like crap, I'm sick of fighting with my friends and I'm sick of everything around me crumbling. I can't pick up a pencil and create something I actually like, and I feel like everything that comes out of my sketches is horrible right now. I miss having people around, and I miss the distractions that come with them. I'm supposed to be used to this by now, I'm supposed to be able to handle things and not break down. But with a boss that does NOTHING and me doing all the work, school that seems to be teaching me nothing and an utter lack of company, I'm really being worn down.

I'm tired of it all. I don't like arguing over things that aren't a big deal, and I don't understand why I'm so upset about it. I can't sleep properly, I'm ALWAYS tired and I don't have a day off. I'm freaking out at little things, I keep lashing out at people when I don't mean it, and most of the time I would like nothing more than to ram my fist through someone's face. It seems that anything can set me off, and I can be laughing one second and completely break down the next for no reason. And I can't tell anyone what's wrong because I don't KNOW. I mean, yeah, the deaths and separation is a part of it, but it's not like anyone can help with those.

And I don't want any comments about how I'm whining. I'm frickin' upset, and if you think I'm just being stupid I'm not interested in hearing it. I'm venting, get off my back already.


School

School isn't really anything special. I've hated every project I've done for my 2D design class, my Drawing and composition 2 teacher seems to have a permanent broom up her ass and my Mixed media class might as well be called "show up and get an A" there is NO instruction and the teacher doesn't even know who I am. I even ASKED how we were supposed to be graded when we never turned in anything and he doesn't take roll. I'm fairly sure my history teacher is off his rocker, and I'm getting a decent grade on that without too much trouble. I'm also 86% done with my math class's 2nd module. I don't talk to anyone, I just go to class and then come home.


Work

My old boss got fired and my new boss is a useless tub of lard that does nothing but chit-chat on his cell phone all day. I handle all the breaks for everyone and tell them what needs to be done, and apparently since I run the register the customers feel that I'm the one that they're supposed to complain to. What irks me so much is that this boss doesn't even CARE. We're busy with a line out the door and he's sitting at one of the tables twiddling his thumbs. LITERALLY TWIDDLING HIS THUMBS!!! WTH!!! Needless to say, I'm looking for a new job.


Soulbeat


Requiem of Fate




:iconnomi-shi: our still to-be-tested lineartist.
:icon1merel1: My wonderful Background Artist
:iconkayfedewa: The helpful Editor

Still on hold.



:iconjessicaashleyshort:'s


The character on this poster is Taika Alwins, a serval shapeshifter and runecaster in Royal's comic "Infected" and of my own design. I really enjoy the way the poster turned out.




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Turn, World, Turn

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 18, 2009, 10:11 PM
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Reading: The Plains of Passage
  • Watching: Kekkaishi
  • Playing: WoW
Photobucket

News

So I've had mixed feeling about a lot of things lately.

It seems that death has become quite a close friend of mine, and I hope it decides not to get too close.

I've had to cut work because of school, but I'm getting tired of it as it is. I just wish I could start a career and not have to worry about scraping by on minimum wage.

We got rid of the Condo, and since James's car has been worked on he and David have been living with me. It's like having an older and younger brother in the house, complete with them hogging the bathroom.

Cliff is out again, and I know he's under a lot of stress, and the distance puts stress on me too. I'm trying to help, but I feel so useless when he's so far away.Of course, seeing couples make out around me also doesn't help. I want to punch random people in the face more than normal... normally it doesn't bother me, but when mine is halfway around the world my patience runs short.

I went to the LA BBA Meet with
:iconesda06:, :icongnjnetter:, :iconfuegoloveslily: and some BBA people, and we had a lot of fun. Erin's alarm didn't go off like it was supposed to, but I think it worked out okay. We got to the zoo at about 11, and I really enjoyed it. Fun antics, interesting jokes and wacky animals. It really is a shame not very many showed up, but I think it was a good turnout for a rather short notice visit. I know that I'm totally up for another Meet, perhaps during the holidays. We ate at a chinese restaurant and the food was delicious, and I think I got the funniest fortune of them all. "Go ask Mom" WTFLOL?! And the socks store! I never considered socks to be so entertaining. Not only that, but Fuego is simply adorable!


School

Started school, and so far my semester looks like it'll be interesting. I have 3 art classes, but only 1 looks like it'll be work. My history teacher seems to be insane, and I'm not so sure about him yet. My math class is odd, I'm not taught by a teacher, I'm taught by an AI Program named ALEKS. I haven't gotten started on it yet, but it should be interesting... I think.


Work

I'm getting more and more annoyed with work. Not only have I had to cut hours because of school, and I still feel overworked. One of my shift leaders just got fired, so this means that I'm going to have to get used to ANOTHER boss. Just what I need. I'm really close to just giving up and not giving a damn anymore. I work hard and I never get anything out of it.


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Movie Review


Ponyo: :star::star::star::star-half:
OMG DRUG TRIP! Ponyo was odd, even for Miazaki. It was soooo funny though! I recommend it, but I warn you, it makes NO sense.


Soulbeat


Requiem of Fate




:iconnomi-shi: our still to-be-tested lineartist.
:icon1merel1: My wonderful Background Artist
:iconkayfedewa: The helpful Editor

Still on hold.



:iconblueshinewolf:'s


Lol




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IRL Friends
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Online Friends
:icon1merel1::iconmearu::iconarista-darksun::iconblackitsune::iconlenval::iconjackanarchy99: :iconnomi-shi:

If you're not on this list and feel I've missed you, let me know!



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My Birthday is on Thursday!

Journal Entry: Tue Jun 16, 2009, 4:27 PM
  • Mood: Eager
  • Listening to: 100%
  • Reading: The Mammoth Hunters
  • Watching: Sweet Home Alabama
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: Lemon Truffle
Photobucket

News

Yep yep, hard to believe I'll be 20 in 2 days. It always seems like the days go by so slow, yet the years seem to go so fast! Time is rather paradoxical. I have this weekend off, so I'll have some time to either hang out or get some things taken care of. Cliff and I have a trip planned in the next couple of weeks, and I am thoroughly looking forward to it. We also have a lot of work to do before Cliff goes out again. It seems that we have a lot of things to do, and it seems we have too much time and too little all at once.

My poor little herb garden has been attacked by white flies, but I'm not sure if I'm going to treat it or not. On the one hand, if I decide to transplant them into pots to take home with me when we give up the Condo, then I should, but on the other hand, if I'm going to leave them, it will be a lot of effort of nothing. Decisions, decisions.



Birthday Present Ideas

Books:
Tsubasa Manga #’s 9 and up
PHD Phantasy Degree Manga #’s 5 and up
Animal Magick
Shadow's Edge -- Thanks Sarah!
Beyond the Shadows
Fell

Movies:
Bambi 2
The Lion King 2
Disney Movies in general
Inkheart
Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans

CD’s:
The Covenant Soundtrack
Mama Mia Soundtrack

Clothing:
[link] Dalaran U T shirt
[link]
Scourge T shirt
[link]
Buffy Staked Edward T shirt
[link]
Zombie Fetch T shirt
[link]
OMG Pwnies
[link]
Flogging Molly
[link]
Flogging Molly again
[link]
Nails are meant to be broken

Accessories:
[link]

Misc:
A good, STURDY backpack. One that can carry my art supplies and laptop convieniently without dying.
[link]
It's cute.

Far Fetched Mega Wishes:
[link]


School

Out for the summer, but I've already picked out my classes for the fall!


Work

Work goes up and down, depending on the day. Working with the public is always a strain, and my naturally sarcastic personality seems to be a double-edged sword. For the most part people enjoy it, but every once in a while I get those kind that naturally have a stick up their ass. Ah well.


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Movie Review


UP: :star::star::star::star:
This movie was really cute! It was funny and emotional and I'd definitely see it again!


Soulbeat


Requiem of Fate




:iconnomi-shi: our still to-be-tested lineartist.
:icon1merel1: My wonderful Background Artist
:iconkayfedewa: The helpful Editor

Still on hold.



:iconkuroneko90:'s


:iconjackanarchy99:'s Shadow again. I liked the idea on this one, and am thinking of doing one for Dilana too. If i get around to it...

:iconkayfedewa: My Favorite Artist. Go read her comic if you haven't already!




:iconbba-fanclub::iconbbaac::iconesdafc::iconfur-for-all::iconkayfedewafc::iconmearuappreciation::iconthesilver-brumbyclub::icontsclub:



:heart::iconsmackmyjennyup::heart:

IRL Friends
:iconalex-thegreenteafish::iconroticokata::iconkitsunenekotigi::iconlinkx-kun::iconkarushi::iconsanthehiraishin::iconsjw8800::iconsiantjudas::iconsilver-archer2525::iconekes::iconkayfedewa::iconesda06::iconhollenheist::iconfogwolf::iconbrandrvael::iconvaidya::iconsiobhan-sith::icontaiaha:

Online Friends
:icon1merel1::iconmearu::iconarista-darksun::iconblackitsune::iconlenval::iconjackanarchy99: :iconnomi-shi:

If you're not on this list and feel I've missed you, let me know!



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Requests

Closed, sorry guys!


Commissions

Open, just drop me a note
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Prices
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Current Projects

As the World Turns

Journal Entry: Sun May 10, 2009, 7:57 PM
  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Listening to: Du behöver
  • Reading: Valley of Horses
  • Watching: Multiplicity
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: DQ Blizzard
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
Photobucket

News

I have a new herb garden that :iconsmackmyjennyup: and I worked on together last week. It's in the flower bed on the patio of the condo. I had to sweep the patio out of all the leaves from the trees (a task in itself) when out of nowhere this skink lizard dashes from my broom and scares me half to death! Well, I caught the little bugger and put it in the old fish tank until the boys got home. (James has pet Tarantulas, why wouldn't they want a lizard?) After the patio was cleared I started pulling all the weeds and digging all the roots up. I had only gotten about a foot cleared when Cliff came home, and he worked with me on it. We found that we had wild strawberries in the bed, (a nice surprise) and also figured out one of the previous tenants had buried several broken flowerpots. (It was like an archeology dig! lol) It took us a couple hours to get the old topsoil out and replace it with the garden soil we picked up, but after that I planted the herbs and we were done in a snap! It was a lot of work, and ended with a nice sore blister on my left thumb and a cricked wrist, but I now have fresh Lavender, Rosemary, Lemon Balm, Thyme, Aloe, Chives, Catmint, Cilantro and Mint plants.

Cliff has once again left for the boat, and as usual I'm going out of my mind. The first few days are always tough, but the last few days are the worst. Jake is out on the boat with Cliff, which leaves James at the condo, but we now have Luke, another of the boys' co-workers, staying there, in Cliff's room. It's odd having to knock on the door I'm so used to just walking through. Luke is nice though, so it's possible that he'll stay once James leaves next month. I'll be sad to see him go, it's really terrible what has happened to him as far as the Navy goes. I'm just worried that they'll try and pull something on Cliff too. As it stands he should be home by the 5th, but there is a possibility they could take him straight into cruise. I REEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYY hope they don't do that. It's bad enough when I'm prepared for him to go out for a long while, it's worse when it's unexpected.


School

Finals are coming up in the next week, so this past week has been crunch time. I worked really hard on my anthro project, and it was all coming together when my blade decided it was through slicing paper and wanted to try my finger instead. I immediately caught my finger in my mouth to keep it from bleeding, but I cut a little deeper than I thought I had, and I had to get up and go wrap my finger before I bled all over my project. But my teacher said she liked it at first glance, so high hopes there.


Work

So work has been going well, as soon as school gets out I should be getting more hours, which will give me a chance to save more money. I'm starting to get into a good routine with my coworkers, and I find that this job, while physically tiring, does not exhaust me they way Target did. I don't mind going to work. (although I would have rather gone back to bed today, considering)


Photobucket
Movie Review


Star Trek: :star::star::star::star:
This movie was AWESOME! The perfect blend of action and comedy, and there were even ties to the old show. I really loved it! The movie theater was PACKED, so much so that we had trouble finding 2 seats together, but it was worth it. I totally recommend this movie. Even if you aren't a Star Trek fan, you'll love the action of the movie.


Soulbeat


Requiem of Fate




:iconnomi-shi: our still to-be-tested lineartist.
:icon1merel1: My wonderful Background Artist
:iconkayfedewa: The helpful Editor

Still on hold.



:iconkuroneko90:'s
::

I really like these character sheets. My friend :iconjackanarchy99: is working on a story, and these sheets are for his charas. I'm thinking about asking for one.

:iconkayfedewa: My Favorite Artist. Go read her comic if you haven't already!




:iconbba-fanclub::iconbbaac::iconesdafc::iconfur-for-all::iconkayfedewafc::iconmearuappreciation::iconthesilver-brumbyclub::icontsclub:



:heart::iconsmackmyjennyup::heart:

IRL Friends
:iconalex-thegreenteafish::iconroticokata::iconkitsunenekotigi::iconlinkx-kun::iconkarushi::iconsanthehiraishin::iconsjw8800::iconsiantjudas::iconsilver-archer2525::iconekes::iconkayfedewa::iconesda06::iconhollenheist::iconfogwolf::iconbrandrvael::iconvaidya::iconsiobhan-sith::icontaiaha:

Online Friends
:icon1merel1::iconmearu::iconarista-darksun::iconblackitsune::iconlenval::iconjackanarchy99: :iconnomi-shi:

If you're not on this list and feel I've missed you, let me know!





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Requests

Closed, sorry guys!


Commissions

Open, just drop me a note
I'm PayPal Verified
Prices
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Trades

Closed unless otherwise specified.


Current Projects

Sponsored By Ninja Assassin

Journal History

What Breed should Nightmare be? 

44%
16 deviants said Keep her made up breed. I like it!
19%
7 deviants said Arabian
14%
5 deviants said Friesian
14%
5 deviants said Mustang
8%
3 deviants said Thoroughbred
0%
No deviants said Anglo-Arab

ShoutBoard

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Shoutbox

=Psychasthenic:iconPsychasthenic:
I betcha don't remember me : D
Tue Jan 27, 2009, 2:38 PM
~thydungeonmansbro:iconthydungeonmansbro:
I live in ak and just got an account. so I dont what the p.a.w thing is. please allaborate. tell me how the party gose k. thanks
Mon Jun 18, 2007, 9:40 PM
~Karushi:iconKarushi:
Seriously, where did you put the Broadsword of Smiting?
Tue Mar 27, 2007, 7:51 AM
~sjw8800:iconsjw8800:
IMA CHARGIN MAH YTMND!!!
Fri Feb 16, 2007, 8:06 PM
~Ekes:iconEkes:
WE'RE GOING BACK TO POTATOS TO GET MY POWER WRIST!
Sun Sep 10, 2006, 8:39 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
About Fing time I find out whats going on...yo!
Wed Jun 21, 2006, 3:10 PM
*Alex-thegreenteafish:iconAlex-thegreenteafish:
Awww, lookie! An ardvark and a squirrel! *squirrel eats ardvark* NOOOOOOOO!!! MR. ARDVAARRKK!!!!! zTT TTz
Sun Apr 30, 2006, 6:10 PM
~CaptainCougar:iconCaptainCougar:
May I eat your potatos? -Snerf-
Fri Apr 7, 2006, 5:49 PM
*KakuraAzukieMiarra:iconKakuraAzukieMiarra:
April, sometime.
Tue Mar 7, 2006, 4:13 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
..when's spring break? Other than in Spring...
Mon Mar 6, 2006, 7:09 PM
*KakuraAzukieMiarra:iconKakuraAzukieMiarra:
I think spring break, and I should be ungrounded by then.
Mon Feb 27, 2006, 5:40 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
Soooo....When's the Nxt gathering?! AND WHEN ARE YOU UNGROUNDED?!
Wed Feb 15, 2006, 4:09 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
Any idea when Roe-chan's coming down?
Fri Feb 3, 2006, 5:20 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
oh good
Fri Feb 3, 2006, 5:20 PM
~BroodMunkee:iconBroodMunkee:
my neighbor's last name is yell, it says so on his mail box and it makes me laff. I YELL!!
Thu Feb 2, 2006, 5:40 PM
*KakuraAzukieMiarra:iconKakuraAzukieMiarra:
not yet.
Sat Jan 28, 2006, 5:44 PM
~SantheHiraishin:iconSantheHiraishin:
yo AZI did you end the contest?
Mon Jan 16, 2006, 10:13 PM
*KakuraAzukieMiarra:iconKakuraAzukieMiarra:
I think I can handle the Chipmunks.
Wed Jan 11, 2006, 5:23 PM
*Alex-thegreenteafish:iconAlex-thegreenteafish:
Hmm...Well, I only have dial up. That's one of my problems anyway.
Sun Jan 1, 2006, 2:33 PM
~Karushi:iconKarushi:
Alex, What is your problem?
Thu Dec 29, 2005, 3:44 PM

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